I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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