I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
