He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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