i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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