just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
