sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
