Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's never too late to be topless.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
