Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize