at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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