This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
