Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
