also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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