she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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