Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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