why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
