I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
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