i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize