It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
