I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So much rum. So many feels.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
