no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
