the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
