i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
