i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
