Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
