you win again, gameday.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
