i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
