Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
