I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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