kristin has been a bad kristin
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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