P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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