Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
