he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I came so hard my ears popped.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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