on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
