the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
