I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
