I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
