I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
