i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
