last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
How external is "for external use only"?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
