so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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