My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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