I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
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