i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
