We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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