wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
