Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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