its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize