He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
