i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
