She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We have started to decorate penises.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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