thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
