I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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