Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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