We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I had to cum in my sink.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
