dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
