Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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