SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
