So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize