thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
